I still think Flutz is a cool name.

Go for it, American Apparel.

Um, excuse me? Oh, Barclay sucks.

K, so I’m not always the most responsible person. I’ve had a credit card balance floating around for a while now, but I’ve recently decided to get that shit got! Like, no more. You can’t be a baller if you owe people money, and all I want is to make it to the Baller Registry (never mind the fact that that site is no more).

So, I called my credit card company (Barclaycard of Barclay Bank in Delaware) and was told that last year, my rate was raised to 30.24% because of the rising cost of doing business and the hard, downward turn that the economy took. They would check and see if I qualify for a lower rate. I was told that this increase had absolutely nothing to do with my history as a client, and was even told that I had a strong standing with the company.

I was told that I was only eligible for a reduction from 30.24% to 29.xx%. Apparently, this is not subject to review, this is automated. Whatever the operator is told from the system, she has to go by. She said that I would qualify for a greater reduction in my APR when I called back next time.

Next time? Like, 5 minutes from now? What the hell is next time? The operator stated that she’s not sure what the next time is. So, the “system” is set up to where the cardholder has to call back AGAIN to get a descent rate. Let’s think about that. How many people (like me, Ms. 30.24%-APR-Cardholder-Because-Who-the-Fuck-Wants-to-Call-the-Card-Company) are going to put this off for another half of a year? What’s more, how is the representative to whom I am talking going to be just as oblivious as I am as to when I should call back?

Something is rotten in Denmark.

But, who am I to argue with such grand logic? So, if you can’t beat ’em, ditch ’em.

Here’s my good-bye email that I sent to Barclay, sweet and to-the-point:

29% is absurd. 29% is an absolute ripoff. If the costs of running your company are so outrageous, I would suggest reviewing your management methods, not charging your customers preposterous interest rates.

I will be paying off this card today and closing this account. If I want to get screwed, I’d rather it be at home.

flutz is my new street name

cause my heart be flutter’n all de time.

figyour things out

yeh, do the silent mind shuffle. put that shit on random. typin some nonsense that makes sense to me and makes different sense to you and in the end melds with all the sense-ical to be nonsense. so do the dance like do-cee-do and spin round til you hit the 180 and once more back to 360.



Dear Fenriz,

Google searches on your name are the only reason my blog gets any traffic. Maybe if I actually told anyone I had a blog, my chances of internet traffic that may actually be interested in my posts would increase. Though, this is doubtful. Fenriz, please appreciate my words, for I appreciate all that you’ve done for me.

Thank you,

tuman hetris

Human TetrisCelebrity bloopers here